Saturday, March 7, 2015

INDIANA JONES DISCOVERS GOLF COURSE--

Harrison Ford Update: Condition Improves, Hollywood Reacts

Hollywood Reporter - ‎4 hours ago‎
5, requiring the actor to land the aircraft on an open patch of grass on the Penmar golf course. Ford was taken to the hospital to be treated for injuries directly after landing, which was followed by an outpour of support from Hollywood friends, family and fans.

Harrison Ford: Videos Show Plane Going Down

Hollywood Reporter - ‎Mar 6, 2015‎
In one video (below) a panicked bystander can be heard saying, "Dude his engine died. He's landing on the course! Oh my God, I hope he's alright." TMZ posted another video, in which a witness can be heard saying, "Look! he's gliding in! I hope he's going to ...

Hollywood actor Harrison Ford struck tree before crash landing vintage plane

Western Daily Press - ‎19 hours ago‎
Hollywood actor Harrison Ford clipped a tree as he chose the "best spot" to crash-land his vintage plane on a golf course, air crash investigators said. The 72-year-old was flying a 1942 Ryan Aeronautical ST3KR when he reported a loss of engine power and ...

NTSB Investigator: Harrison Ford 'Lucky' To Have Survived Plane Crash

Access Hollywood - ‎Mar 5, 2015‎
NTSB Investigator Patrick Jones held a press conference Thursday night regarding Harrison Ford's plane crash. Although he at no point named Ford as the pilot of the plane that crash landed on a Venice, Calif., golf course, he did say, "We believe that he is ...

Harrison Ford plane crash: Doctor shocked to find Hollywood star in crashed plane

gulfnews.com - ‎Mar 6, 2015‎
Dr Sanjay Khurana was wrapping up a golf game when a vintage plane buzzed overhead, clipped a tree and “dropped like a rock” onto the green. He rushed to the crash, finding a pilot bleeding from a deep gash in his head. When the surgeon got a closer ...

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

PAGE TEMPLATE

NEW LAYOUT ---MIDWEEK EDITING COMPLETED--

Monday, March 2, 2015

BORIS NEMTSOV: CODE JOLIET JAKE--


TO JAKE FROM ELWOOD SUBJ  DRIVE BY SHOOTING, MOSCOW--02/28///


VICTIM: Boris Nemtsov
AGE: 55
NATIONALITY:Russia
LOCATION: Red Square, Moscow--Bolshoy Moskvoretsky Bridge
DATE: February 27, 2015



NEW ENTRY:  03/02//1900PST:
The four bullets that hit the politician were reportedly manufactured back in 1986 and another two — in 1992. The murder weapon was either a Makarov pistol or a converted Izh gas pistol, according to media reports. The latter is easier to obtain, but is prone to misfires.

--------------------------------------------------------------

FOLLOWING DETAILS OF THE CRIME FROM A VARIETY OF SOURCES--


1.) Victim shot in the back four times while crossing the bridge, with a companion, in front of  St. Basil's Cathedral.



2.) The murder was a contract killing and politically motivated.

3.) Police are keep looking for either a white Ford Focus or a Ford Mondeo

4.) VICTIM was shot four times in the center of Moscow at Vasilyevsky Spusk, a bridge leading to Red Square.

 5.) A white vehicle approached VICTIM, fired the shots, and sped away. Police later said there were three white cars on the bridge during the shooting, according to footage from street cameras. Two of them were later cleared of any link to the murder. Some witnesses said the car containing the suspects was without a license plate.

6.) VICTIM had dinner at a restaurant inside GUM, a department store on Red Square, with the woman he was with when he was shot"

 7.) The murder was planned well in advance.

 8.) VICTIM  route has been established. Someone apparently followed him from GUM and told the accomplices the  location.

9.) Police found six bullet casings at the crime scene.

10.) VICTIM  killed at 11:40 p.m. Moscow time on Friday (20:40 GMT), when several shots were fired at him from a car, while he was walking with a female companion from Ukraine across the Zamoskvoretskiy bridge in central Moscow.


11.) According to preliminary information, an unidentified person shot at VICTIM no fewer than 7-8 times from a car. 

12.) He was shot with a pistol from a white car which fled the scene, "several people" got out of a car and shot him.

INVESTIGATION ONGOING--FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE--ASAP--PZ ACKNOWLEDGE--ALL CHANNELS--



 


TO JAKE FROM ELWOOD SUBJ  DRIVE BY SHOOTING, MOSCOW--02/28///




Saturday, February 28, 2015

REP. BOEHNER TO DEPLOY MOCKUP TSA CUTOUTS AT AIRPORTS


TO BREADLINE FROM ERSATZ NEWS SUBJ CARDBOARD DUMMIES--03/01--0000PST



FOLLOWING REPORT FILED:

WASHINGTON, DC (Ersatz News Agency)  US Congressman John Boehner (R-OHIO), the Speaker of  the House, has unveiled a plan today to forestall the consequences of shutting down Homeland Security and placing the nation's airports at risk if the transportation security personnel employed there decide to walk off their jobs if and when the agency is forced into a shutdown.

"I got the idea from the Iranian Navy when they blew up that fake US carrier in the Persian Gulf last week, you know, the one they made out of plywood," he was overheard explaining the scheme to Armed Services Committee Chairman Sen. John McCain (R-ARIZONA).

Rep Boehner's plan is to install thousands of cardboard mockups of TSA agents in airports across America in hopes it will fool terrorists (see images below)





"Certainly no scheme is foolproof," Rep. Boehner explained later to reporters on the steps outside the capitol building. "Those terrorists are smart, they're liable to get wind of the idea and use it to their advantage."

Others in the House were quick to criticize the plan but had no reasonable alternative other than to commit to funding the Homeland Security package for another year. The President was unavailable for comment at press time but one of his spokesmen made it clear that the cardboard mockups just weren't going to cut it, citing the report on how foolish the Iranian Navy looked blasting away at the plywood aircraft carrier in the Straits of Hormuz. Ersatz news is in the process of investigating this exclusive story further.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE--ASAP--ACKNOWLEDGE--



TO BREADLINE FROM ERSATZ NEWS SUBJ CARDBOARD DUMMIES--03/01--0000PST